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The Surprising Factor That Could Lead to Weight Loss Sabotage
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This has been the conundrum of my life. I work hard to take compliments positively, but it is incredibly hard to do so and I end up self-sabotaging...
I understand the problem. Every time I'd get down to where strange men would come up to me and say inappropriate things, I'd put some weight back on. Why can't men keep their nasty thoughts tucked inside their brains? I sure didn't want them.
I've lost a lot of weight recently because of side effects from the chemo (essentially a longer term "fasting" period), and so I'm suddenly being slammed with these comments about my weight, like "you're melting..." etc. I like the comment in the article: ' "Thank you. I am sure you mean well, but comments regarding my body make me uncomfortable. I certainly don't mind you're noticing if I look healthier or more vibrant, but that is about my new healthy habits, not pounds lost," ' and there IS one person in particular who seems to want to corner me at church to discuss my weight loss. Oddly - she's in her mid 80's is always struggling to lose the same 20 pounds or so.... so anyway, I felt a need to revisit this article and will need to refer to it again, I'm sure. Thank you!!
People who I haven’t seen in a while are “shocked” at how much weight I have lost. However, I just thank them and tell them how much healthier I feel in my new lifestyle. Strangers don’t know I was 70 pounds heavier and that doesn’t become part of the conversation.
When someone tells me “you have lost enough weight,” I smile and tell them when my health numbers are where I want them to be, THEN I have lost enough.
These days, people feel free to comment about everyone, whether weight loss, gain, hairstyle, makeup, pregnant, just stuff that is none of their business, it’s a social thing, and our current society, is ruder than ever before. Speak up if it bugs you. The ways of our world, now.
After I had lost about 15 pounds my Mom said "You are looking thinner, are you wearing 2 girdles now?" This was many years ago and girdles were the vogue. I took no offense at all. In fact I was happy to hear her say it. After I reached my goal of 152 with 55 pounds off people stated asking if I was well. One lady right out and said she wondered if I had cancer. I am 5'5" tall so ceertainly not unerweight but different than 207lb. start weight.
OMG! Perfect timing with this article. I was just thinking about this topic this morning. Although I have been on a weight loss journey since July, people are starting to notice. I have such a terrible history with comments from co-workers and in-laws. One co-worker said," Have you been trying to lose weight or are you ill?" Another said, " I've told my husband you've lost weight and gone too far." Keep in mind I have never gone below my healthy weight range as an adult and I was feeling so energetic and positive before the comments. One said, " You get smaller every time I see you." My mother-in-law scanned me from head to toe and shouted, " My GOD you've lost weight!!" This was at a funeral....I was so embarrassed... This article is so relatable for me, thanks for the suggestions on how to handle them. I even had a male custodian say after seeing me say that it's looks like everyone but him gained weight over the holidays.
The worst such example I ever experienced was when a co-worker (older man) asked how my husband liked sleeping with a different woman! Yikes! Talk about over the line. It *could* have derailed me, but at that point in the journey, I was able to use my mouth for something other than eating, and told him it made me uncomfortable. I never had the problem with "comments" from him again. I was astounded! I never knew that speaking up for myself could be so powerful!
He genuinely seemed surprised that I would find it offensive, even though we were not more than office acquaintances! So, ladies... yep, the voice is powerful. Use wisely.
I can def understand how continued compliments can have an effect. I believe I experienced such an experience of many compliments and started to feel a little to confident early in my SP healthy journey and it did sabotage my efforts. I fell into a 2 year plateau and in that period gained 12 pounds back. I think I became to comfortable at that point and with all the compliments and did not continue on the journey as I needed too. I needed to have a talk with myself and get back to reading many helpful article to get me back on track.
It's been soon to be 9 years on SP and more than 120 lbs lost and now I will just continue to live healthier each day. Sure I lean every now and then but I am MINDFUL in my life now. My support team of SP is a blessing as is my desire to live longer and healthier.
I am grateful !!!
I didn't mind the compliments at all and knew I was too fat so no surprise people would comment. What was odd to me was that so many felt free to tell me I was getting too skinny. AT 5'8" and 160 lbs I wasn't too skinny. Ended up around 142 which is right in the middle of my BMI range and folks have stopped saying I'm too skinny.
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