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Member Comments for the Article:
The Surprising Factor That Could Lead to Weight Loss Sabotage
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It takes a different mindset to be able to handle compliments after weight loss. It is okay to be proud of your accomplishments and accept the positive comments, while not feeling embarrased by the way you used to look. However, I have had times (when younger) where compliments made me very uncomfortable because I knew I was being "hit on" and that would lead me to subconsciously sabotage myself and my efforts.
Now, wait a minute! You are suggesting that someone tell another person who gives them a sincere compliment tell that person that they made them feel uncomfortable? I see a problem with this: The issue here does not lie with the person who complimented (unless they were being outright lewd or otherwise rude), but with the person who is BEING complimented. Even if the circumstances for the sensitivity are beyond the comlimentee's control, it certainly isn't the fault of the complimentor. What those of us with sensitivities like this DON'T want to do is expand that sensitivity to another person and possibly create a fear in them of giving compliments in the future. Better to just accept that they meant well, appreciate the effort, and everyone goes on about their lives. Telling someone that a good thing they did makes you feel uncomfortable really isn't going to have any good end except for momentarily making yourself feel better. And after that moment passes, there will be reason for guilt because of the look and reaction from the other person. Do the best for all people involved- Not just yourself.
It took a long time not to be flustered by a compliment, now I simply say Thank You.
You've shared some very valuable information. Thank you!
Many good points
I have had these feelings before and am glad to know that it's something others have felt too. Right now I am dealing with a gain and feelings of exasperation and some embarrassment that I might be heading down the wrong road again. Good to reflect on what's happening in my thoughts so I can take charge. Thank you.
Thanks. I thought I was the only person who reacted this way when given a compliment about weight loss.
Of course, most people mean well. So it is good to let them know if there's another way of helping, like saying, "You look radiant," or "You have a lot of positive energy today," instead of the comments about the weight loss. Just say it makes you feel too self-conscious, but that you appreciate the sentiment. They can hardly be blamed for wanting to celebrate your acheivement with you. Setting healthy boundaries in a relationship is an essential form of self-care.
Eh, I've learned not to let others' comments affect me. It's a skill worth learning and teaching to the younger generation. IMHO
This is really good information and food for thought. Thank you.
In the beginning this was definitely me. However, I’ve been at this a while and in a new workplace where no one knew the ‘before’ me. So, now when I get the compliments I can just smile because they can’t compare before and after. They only see my ‘now’ progress so the pressure is less.
"You look great today"!
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