Traveling the next stretch of my journey.
Thursday, June 14, 2018
I woke up in a contemplative mood. My dog and I went out on the back deck, where I consumed my first hydration of the day; 2/8 ounce glasses of water, while doing a morning stretch from head to toe to get the juices flowing. After spending about 20 minutes soaking up the sun and viewing all the beautiful trees and birds in the area, I came back into the house and turned on the TV. The channel was on a paid channel and it was advertising Tai Chi. So I turned off the TV, looked it up on YouTube, and spent the next 15 minutes learning one of the moves. It was quite refreshing if I may say so myself.
I was thankful for the reprieve. Two days prior I had received some devastating news that has rocked my world to say the least. I had my yearly physical, something I normally dread for no particular reason, but this time my worst fears were played out. While sitting in the room talking to the doctor, the gravity of my situation sunk deeper and deeper to the extent that when I left the office I felt completely lost. In all of my fifty five years, I haven’t had to deal with any major health issues, except at the age of fifty; I developed high blood pressure. At the time there were some serious stressors going on in my life. So to hear what I heard on Tuesday morning at my yearly physical threw me for a complete loop and I am still reeling from it!
One of the hardest hurtles I had to leap over was telling my family of the visit. Trying to reassure them that it would be OK and not to panic until we heard the full extent of the problem. My hubby has been hyper vigilant ever since and every time he looks at me it’s with worry and concern in his eyes, my daughters were both reassuring. Repeating the phrases “it’s going to be OK, don’t worry too much, we will get through this together”. Knowing all along that we each had our own private fears, that we were afraid to speak into existence, so we didn’t.
Let me interject right here- I do believe that it will be OK, I do believe that we will get to the other side no matter how it looks- only God knows. I know that he is with me that he will walk this journey with me and that he will receive the glory and the honor. One of my favorite verses in God’s Word is Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for the good, for those who love God, and who the called according to his purpose.” I don’t know how he will do, it but I know that he will, because his promises are true. Everything will work it out for our good and for his glory. I am confident of that! ( on this side of heaven or the other)
I have deliberately evaded naming what I’m facing, one because until I know the full extent of it I don’t want toname it, second, maybe if I don’t name it it won’t materialize and it will all go away. Wishful thinking I know, but it’s helping me to calm the ruskus going on in my mind and emotions right now. After I’ve gone through the testing and have talked to the doctor (s) then I’ll know what I’m up against and have a plan to counteract it, then maybe I can name it and keep it in its proper place in my head.
I have determined to continue on this wellness journey, eating properly and thinking properly! Not allowing negativity to reign or reside. I also have determined to use holistic healing in conjunction with medical intervention to put my body back in order. My daughter and I have already started to investigate how nutrition can heal the body if administered correctly. Also prayer and meditation, along with physical activity. This may not be an easy journey, but I will continue to travel it to see what the end will be, as the old folks use to say. It’s not over till it’s over. I hope I don’t sound fatalistic, I don’t mean to, I just know I must stay in reality with a heaping of hope attached to it. Who knows maybe with the testing it will prove to be not as bad as it sounded in the drs office...it could happen, right?!